Desire- the ants!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stepping into the world of practice, your desires can be guided into new areas. I think people generally have desires for predictable things, and I’m part of that trend too. People want pleasant things, status, sex, comfort, security, adoration. As you become a practitioner, you start to see that there’s something a little fishy about those desires. They cycle through your head and influence your decisions, but often they’re hard to achieve perfectly, and even when you get really close, it doesn’t seem to be enough. Then there’s the content of the desirous daydreams: why do I want that car? Was it seeing the ad on TV five thousand times? Was it because my parents would hate it? Would I have imagined wanting that thing if I’d never seen it on TV? Clearly, people tend to be easily influenced, and we’re living in a kind of world these days, many of us, where influences seem to be multiplying like ants. Desire is not bad per se, and I hope I’m not squashing a dead ant here, repeating this sort of refrain, but it’s not bad. It’s just that it can get out of hand. The definition of hand is up to you as hand-holder.
It is possible to get desirous about practice. You can get fired up about practice. This is something I feel when I go on retreat (although to be honest, retreat tends to involve a lot of resistance and irritation too). Maybe think of Baptist churches in America. People dance and sing. You can get really fired up about your practice and your faith. That’s a good thing. You take a feeling that can get you into so much trouble, drag your life down so much, and turn it towards something positive.