Habits, relationships

Afrikaans: Geroosterde pitte van die koffiepla...

Afrikaans: Geroosterde pitte van die koffieplant. English: Roasted coffee beans Español: Granos de café tostado (natural). Bahasa Indonesia: Biji kopi alami yang telah disangrai. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

People have habitual patterns. These patterns have a pull to them. They’re physical. When I go to make coffee, I have my little way of getting the beans, grinding them in the grinder, tapping out the ground beans to a certain rhythm…

One problem is that these patterns make you unconscious. They’re numbing, even if efficient. People like efficiency, but no one really wants numbness, or a living death.

Another problem is that habitual tendencies make it hard to do something different. Think of a problematic relationship, and if it has some habitual qualities- always rushing to fight about x, always tensing up when y is suggested. It’s not that YOUR way is wrong and you’re crazy; it’s that if you want to “improve a relationship” or get over something, having an addiction as far as what you feel or think or do can make that really difficult.

Today I had a moment of noticing this in a conversation, and holding back.

Generally, I think of holding back as bad, cowardice. If you’re about to go into a habitual argument, with the natural feeling of being justified, the joy of being able to go back into that argument, holding back can be good. I was so glad I did.

A fallen coffee cup with beans pouring out.

A fallen coffee cup with beans pouring out. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Advertisements

About jakekarlins

Aspiring writer and artist, dharma practitioner, yogi.

Posted on April 3, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

rinchenphuntsokblog

Sharing my translations of the teachings of a great Tibetan teacher

My Meditation Challenge

Waking Up in the Dream

Fit Body Freaks

All Things Health and Fitness

Jack Saunsea

Making a living by giving.

Darkroomstory

Photography by Manos,

Tinfoil Hat Lady

Helping You Think Things Differently.

Detach Yourself...

(R)evolution of Consciousness & (Counter)culture

@meditationstuff (Since 2013; 100+ posts; 50,000+ words and counting...)

Meditation and transformative practice vis-à-vis rationality, phenomenology, neuroscience and {clinical, developmental, evolutionary} psychology because humans.

Colorful Lamentations

Personal musings

Advayavada Buddhism

ON COURSE WITH NATURE.

URBAN F

REVIEWS BY ABBIE

The Pizza Cleanse

Pizza for Optimal Fitness

%d bloggers like this: